He’s got me all. I should be mad about it but I’m not. He choose to see what he wants to see and really what he needs to see at this very moment. I think that’s what happens when someone won’t let themselves fully forgiven their past. Shit happens. People are going to hurt you in the worst possible way. They’ll leave you for dead but it doesn’t mean every other person you come across is going to do the same. I’m not here to hurt you. I never had any intentions of doing so. I want what everyone wants. I guess I should really be telling him this.
“
We lit our cigarettes off of each other’s. We were never meant to be, no. We had sex, but I could never let her touch me. She couldn’t have extracted my soul from all the places it was hiding. That’s okay. We were what we were, when we needed it.
She was out on my balcony, late one night. I was in the kitchen, when I sensed a change in energy. I walked out onto the balcony to find her sitting with a cigarette in her fingers, trembling with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I sat down in front of her, and said gently, “Come here, sweetheart.” She slid into my lap, and sobbed into my shoulder. I remember the exact feeling of her back beneath my fingertips, as I ran my fingers up and down her spine. My god, I held her, and for the first time in so long, I felt something in my heart that resembled softness. It was a heartbreaking, heartmaking feeling.
She melted my permafrost in that moment. I cared. Suddenly, I could feel tenderness again. That was a frozen ocean melting and surging to meet her. I owe my change in seasons to her. My summer finally returned.
”—C; How Do You Take Your Coffee? (via perfect)
(Source: memoirsofc, via wonderfrankie)